Category: politics

The Democratic Nationalist Socialist Fascist Capitalist Martinist People’s Holy Empire of Venetia – An Introduction

The Democratic Nationalist Socialist Fascist Capitalist Martinist People’s Holy Empire of Venetia (also known as Venetia), is an area of land in various parts of Beaufort. It began in the storage room, but in recent times has spread to the 5th and 6th year resource area. The storage room is where the founding members christened, Martin Venus as the official Supreme Leader of Venetia. Documents of Martin’s coronation speech and attire have officially been declared lost however, eye witness accounts proclaim while wearing cheap Christmas tinsel he addressed the mesmerized crowd shouting “Friendship tax…NOW!”
Venetia’s flag consists of a yellow and purple crest. It also depicts Venetia’s national animal, a dust bunny (this was decided on by the Supreme Leader, it symbolizes Venetia’s humble beginning, in the storage room). The dust bunny is beside a can of Monster energy drink (in a tribute to the Minister of Defense, Brent). It is also reported that the dust bunny has an addiction. The other side sports a crown. Every day the Jlave must work tediously to produce a new solid gold and platinum crown for the Supreme Leader. Failure to do this will result in being beaten by a lightning bolt shaped cane (hence the lightning bolt on the flag). The lightning bolt also represents Barry (more down below). Finally the background is a Jlave working ploughing the fields. (explained further down).
Venetia’s main export is venetian blinds grossing in over 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 Venetian Dollars, which all contributes to funding the VIIP’s campaigns, (more down below) and the Supreme Leaders National Holiday Celebrations (October 26th).
Venetia also plans to set up a search browser, named Voogle.
Venetia’s national anthem is a song that features in the popular Nickelodeon cartoon “Spongebob”. Titled, “The Best Day Ever” reports suggest that the title has been slightly altered in Venetia to “The Best Leader Ever”.  Venetia also has a national salute.
Venetia has only one religion, known as the Cult of Martin. As the Supreme Leader is godly in stature we celebrate his greatness, kindness, honesty, reputability and virtuous nature on the 25th of Decmeber.
Venetia operates a complicated Hierarchy, with the Supreme Leader unquestionably at the top. There is only one political party which Venetia’s Prime Minister, Danny is leader of. This political party is called the VIIP (Venetian Imperialist Independent Party). Many citizens of Venetia are “Ministers”. These jobs are tedious such as claiming new area in the 6th year resource area, eating lunch and finding news ways to punish Venetia’s Jlave. Ministers include Ohm, Jordan (minister of fascism), Caitlin (Foreign Affairs) and Katie (Intelligence). Venetia has also implemented a military system, known as Barry.
The Jlave of Venetia (Alex) has been denied all rights and freedom that other citizens of Venetia have. Their job is to plough the fields while taking hourly punishments from Ventia’s Janitor (Greg). However many speculate that The Supreme Leader and Jlave are involved intimately. Many question as to why, I figure its a fetish.
From an outlook, Venetia is full of gaity, joy and happiness however Venetia has seen dark days. Before Venetia’s founding a brief encounter with the Minister for Foreign Affairs nearly cost the Supreme Leader his life. The Minister attempted to poison the Leader by leaving a old sweet found on the ground in the celebrations box that the Leader always checked for sweets.
Also, a brief civil war erupted when the Minister for Defense stated he was running for Leader. This soon sizzled out and after a lidl energy drink was passed “under the counter” all was well in Venetia again.
Anyone who is considering joining (press like). When one joins Venetia, they must take an oath swearing unconditional loyalty to the Supreme Leader. They must also be ready to pay a deposit of 3 months friendship tax.
Update:
Hello plebs. This is your minister speaking. Your Supreme Leader commands you to make yourself known and spread the word of the great Venetian Empire. Failure to do so will result in a fine of 6 months friendship tax and Jlave status.